And that would be me... well and this unhappy creature trapped outside on the patio a building over.Today has been one hell of a ride. I can take that sentence literally and tell you about the 14 miles I biked to class and back. Or I can take that sentence figuratively and tell you about flying by the seat of my pants through failure after failure (which is probably how I meant it anyway.) I don't even know how to see the light through all of this. Maybe the positive is that I can still do it; I still have a chance to be a Nurse.
It just seems like everything in my life is the least ideal.
At least something good came of this darkness:
Maybe I'll just drop out of school and become an artist... and spend the rest of my life paying back the loans I took out trying to get a degree.I cannot let the darkness consume me. Especially when my art "studio" has gone from a corner in my dorm room to THIS:
Hello inspiration!Well, more unpacking is in my future; roomie # 4 is moving in tomorrow. I also plan on studying the night away. Oh! And eating my weight in ice cream...
Peace to all...
Blessed number one.
ReplyDeleteI hold your tears deeply within my heart. I plant them in the rocky road (not the ice cream) of path to wholeness. YOU ARE LIVING THE DREAM. Count to five...now GO!
My lovely...
ReplyDeleteMy experiences thus far in life have left me nothing to help you with yours. I am so sad for you. It must be hard to seemingly be continually pushed down into that hole, but remember this: you are not one person with the strength of one person, but one person with the strength of eight: God, yourself, your parents, and your sisters. We are all here for you, even though we are 175 miles apart. I love you so, so much.
Oh by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
p.s. I love that you're blogging.
p.p.s. That artwork made me cry. I ABSOLUTELY love it. Keep finding the silver lining through that artistic release!
ReplyDeleteSasha,
ReplyDeleteAs some of my darkest moments occurred during my college years, I can TOTALLY relate to your feelings of despair/failure. I wrote angst-ridden poetry and went crazy, dancing at the disco to express my frustrations. I only had peers to share my heart with, and no God in my life. When you are feeling the darkest (which is when the devil is lying to you), remember your FAMILY who LOVES you, your powerful SAVIOR who bears your burdens WITH you, and all the gifts, talents and brains that your Creator has bestowed on/in you. You may be having some failures right now, but you are NOT a failure! You are God's child, crowned with glory and honor! I am glad that you are expressing your feelings through your art- and, yes, it is for you- the process is healthy and good. Then pick yourself up and keep moving forward- one step/day at a time. I will be praying for you! Love ya, love ya- AA